Can You See Me?

I see what I want to see
When I see me
In my minds eye
I stand in front of the mirror
Ebony skin
Glaring back at me
Like the silky layers
Of the clay colored ground
Backed to hardness by the sun
Layers of time
Which are etched in the contours of my body
By my ancestral Heritage
Dating back to the times
Of my fathers land, Nigeria
Yoruba
My mind has now forgotten
As I glare at what I have become
What this land
The American Dream
Has made me
I see what I want to see
When I see me
Like the eyes
Dark and blazing
Piercing through the dark
Eyes so deep
Showing wells of sorrow
And time etched
By and in a face
The lines of the Face
That shows years of heartache
Heart,
Break,
Breaking,
Suppression, Depression,
As I yearn for the innocent
Days
Before my ambition raped me
Of my pure honesty
I see what I want to see
When I see me
The countless hours of starvation
Fasting, regurgitating
Till blood rich and red
Pours like milk from my belly
And in the still less ness of the night
I cry out in agony
At the emptiness of my home
Home
Home
Home
A word now foreign to me
As I see
No rest
In this expanse of furnishing
As I left freedom
And came here
To the land of the free
Slaves
I see what I want to see
When I see me
Robbed of innocence
Now I must stare at this person,
This being
Created not by God’s design
But the designs
Of me
Ashamed of myself
Myself ashamed of I
Subject to circumstance
And here she stands
Staring at the past
Faced with the future
Afraid
Afraid to live on
To move from this spot
A spot
Where reality interchanges
With dreams
What was a dream?
I see what I want to see
When I see me
I see no beauty
I see no reason to live
I see a no Queen,
But a being
Starving to be accepted
By family, by love
By friends
I see what I want to see
Can you see me?