How Deep Can I can...?

Drop me now
Drop me now into this abyss that I seem to crave
Where I can never feel hurt, anger
Suppress this depression that seems to surmount
Any desire that I may feel
Wash me
Wash me now in this milky white life
That seems to be the very example everyone wants me to be
I seem to be
The living example of how not to be
Leave me
Leave me now in my own pity
Let me choke on what I want to be
And how I can never become who I should be
Drown me
Drown me now in complacency
I have no where to go but down a road
I wish I didn’t have to walk
Allow me
Allow me now to look down the road at the years
I will waste never knowing how good it would have been
To succeed at what life has played me
Kill me
Kill me now as before I kill what little part of me
Is remaining to love, to be loved
I am nothing
I am forgotten, forsaken, forlorn
A fugitive of my own minds description
Of what this life ought to be
I child brought only to torment what is left
Of this angel’s breathe
Kiss of the god’s they called it
A curse of the scorned is more like it
Life…a game you play once
I have lost, before it began…